Jaune's Porage Oats
by JC of the Corn
Summary: Drunk Fic, similar to Pumping up. Jaune wants to be stronger, and he finds the answer. For all those readers from Scotland, please don't kick the shit out of me. Crack Drunk Fic
**Drunken writing again. With apologies to Scotland. Please don't kick the shit out of me.**

* * *

 **JAUNE**

Jaune was taking a walk through vale, he hadn't been improving lately in Goodwitch's class, and the tournament was right around the corner. Pyrrha had been helping him train, but it hadn't been enough. He really needed to think of something quick, or else Goodwitch might get suspicious. Well, more so then she already was at least. He swore that woman was out to get him at times.

"Hmm, maybe some food will help clear my head." He said as he stepped into a rundown restaurant.

"Oi Mate! We got ourselves a customer!" He heard a man say from the bar in the restaurant.'

"Fucking Christ! That we do Rory!" The redheaded giant say as he stood in front of Jaune.

"What can we do for you buddy?" He asked as Jaune was surprised at the sight of his guy/

This guy was taller than Yatsuhashi easily, and Yatsuhashi was seven feet tall, but this guy definately had a few inches on him. He kind of looked like the guy who drank blood out of the skulls of his enemies. Which would definately explain why his beard looked so red. It was from the blood dripping down and eventually being absorbed into the very beard itself.

"Uhm, just hungry thats all." He said as he was suddenly sat down at a table.

"You hear that Rory?! Get him the stuff!" The giant said as the man named Rory nodded and went back.

"But I didn't order yet..." Jaune said as the giant waved him off.

"Don't matter! We know what you need lad!" The man said as Jaune looked down.

"Are...Are you wearing a skirt?" He said as he looked down and saw the strange thing the man was wearing.

"Oi! Thats a kilt there! You don't call it a skirt...Ever! You know why?" He said as he got dangerously close to Jaune's face.

"W-Why?" Jaune said as he felt like wetting himself at this man's glare.

"Because we done kilt anyone who called it a skirt." He said as Jaune nodded.

"D-Did I call it a skirt?! Oh on! Of course its a kilt! Only real men wear those!" He said trying to save his ass.

"Bah! Relax laddie, we're not going to kill you, you get three strikes as the Yanks put it." He said as he walked off.

"Yanks? What the hell is he talking about?" He said as he was wondering what kind of restaurant he walked into.

Well, this was certainly an interesting place, although he did look around and notice that he was the only one in there. That was odd, he knew the place looked rundown, but there were a ton of buildings in the area that looked old an decrepit and they still had business, so why was this place the only one that seemed to be doing poorly? Was the food bad? Oh crap, maybe the chefs were really bad or stuck their junk in the food, what the hell was Jaune thinking when he came in here?

"There you go Laddie!" He heard Rory say as he jumped a bit.

The man seemed friendly enough, he was dressed similarly to the redhead giant from earlier, wearing only a white tank top with a red kilt, red socks and shoes. But unlike his redheaded companion, he did not seem as intimidating, he was still big, but the other guy was a MOUNTAIN compared to this guy. So he felt a little at ease. But maybe its because he couldn't see this guy making any homicide jokes.

"Uh, thanks." He said as he looked down at his...cereal?

Honestly he wasn't sure what it was, was it cereal? Oatmeal? He smelled it, and it smelled fairly good and safe, so seeing no harm in it, he dipped his spoon in it and took a bite. His eyes widened.

This was...DELICIOUS!

"Damn this is good!" He said as he immediately went on to finish the bowl.

Rory smiled as he watched the customer eat the bowl of oats. It wasn't long before he finished it off and looked to him.

"Can I have another bowl please?" He asked politely as Rory nodded and went back to the kitchen.

 **AN HOUR LATER**

"Ah that was good." Jaune said as he patted his stomach and looking over the multiple empty bowls around him.

Mr. Giant was all too happy to take his money, while Rory looked at him in amazement that he could eat that many bowls.

"What is this stuff? And how is it no one else has come here?" He asked as Rory sat down.

"Lad, do you know what you just did?" He asked as Jaune nodded.

"I had a very nice meal, although it was a little limited to that oatmeal type stuff." He said as Rory shook his head.

"Not just that, you ate our entire supply of Porage within an hour." He said as Jaune felt a little bad at that.

"Oh I'm sorry, I guess I didn't save any for the other customers eh?" He asked as Rory shook his head.

"We don't get customers, in fact they don't even know this place exists." He said as Jaune looked confused.

"But...the sign out front...it said..." He said as the giant came over and waved him off.

"The sign out front can't be seen by normal people...you Mr. Arc are something special, you are destined for something great." He said as Jaune looked confused.

"Uh...What are you talking abo-" He was suddenly cut off as he was lifted in the air by Rory.

"Come with us little lad!" He yelled as they went upstairs.

"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! MR. GIANT! Call off your hound!" He said as the giant only laughed.

"Oh if he only knew..." He said as he followed them upstairs.

It was time to begin the transformation.

* * *

 **THE NEXT DAY AT CLASS**

"Where is Jaune? He never misses class." Pyrrha said as Nora spoke up.

"Fearless leader? He came in late last night, he looked dead tired, came back with a full case of something, but he looked pretty damn happy. Almost as if he found the secret to life." Nora said as Pyrrha looked at her.

Pyrrha was already asleep when Jaune came in, and she hadn't seen him all morning. In fact he had even skipped breakfast with them this morning. He gave Ren a note saying that he had other plans for breakfast. But he wouldn't tell them what. Needless to say Ren was confused, but he didn't question his leader's newly found eccentricity considering that he dealt with Nora on a daily basis, and Jaune's weird plans didn't hold a candle to Nora's antics.

"Next match will be Yang Xiao Long versus..." Goodwitch stated as the machine chose randomly.

"Jaune Arc..." She said with a wince.

Mr. Arc had improved, but against Ms. Xiao long? He would have an easier time trying to get Ms. Schnee to like him.

"Combatants to the arena." She said as Yang was walking slowly to the arena.

 _"Damn, I kind of feel bad about beating up Vomit boy."_ Yang said as she really hoped Ruby would forgive her for beating up her friend.

"Mr. Arc? Where are you?" Goodwitch said as she was looking around.

Yang was however breathing a sigh of relief since she wouldn't have to fight him. But that all changed when she heard a voice...a manly voice.

"I'm here! Don't worry!" She heard Jaune say as they saw him walking out of the locker room.

He wasn't wearing his armor, he was wearing some sort of white tank top that actually showed off his muscles. Looks like that extra training with Pyrrha really did give him some prominent muscle tone. In fact Pyrrha was blushing slightly as she crossed her legs, she had seen Jaune with his shirt off before, but for some reason he seemed even more enticing now. But then the oddest thing happened.

He stepped out of the shadows...in a skirt.

"Ha! Arc's wearing a skirt!" Cardin yelled out as some of the students laughed.

Pyrrha was about to yell at them to shut up, but then she heard a laugh.

"Ha, thats what I said the first time too Cardin, but no, its actually a kilt." He said as everyone stared at him in confusion.

"What the hell is a kilt? Did that dunce finally lose it?" She heard Weiss say under her breath.

"Eh, vomit boy, did you hit your head or something?" Yang asked as Jaune merely smiled.

"No, Yang, in fact I feel fantastic today, so shall we begin?" He asked as he put up his fists.

"Eh, aren't you going to get your weapon?" She asked as he shook his head.

"No, I'm trying new things." He said as she shrugged her shoulders.

"Your funeral." She said as she really wasn't going to enjoy this.

"Begin!" Goodwitch yelled as Yang charged forward by using her gauntlets to launch her closer to Jaune at a high velocity.

And then...it happened.

The resulting blast and wind from her gauntlets caused Jaune's kilt to fly out. Exposing him in all of his glory.

Yang lost focus of her charge and merely flew by Jaune turning her head slightly to see the beautiful sight in front of her as Jaune tried to push his kilt down, only for the wind to somehow pick up.

 _"OOOOOOOHHHHH MYYYYYYY! THATS WHAT HE WAS HIDING UNDER THERE?!"_ Yang though in her mind as she crashed into a wall and made swirly eyes.

People assumed the nosebleed she got was from the impact of the wall, no one realized it was actually from arousal.

The reactions were varied.

Cardin _"WHAT THE FUCK?! HE CAN'T BE HUMAN!"_ Cardin said as he now felt really small.

 _"OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH! THIS IS MUCH BETTER THAN NINJAS OF LOVE!"_ Blake.

 _"This cookie is nice, oh what happened to Yang?"_ Ruby said as she was looking at her sister and not at Jaune.

 _"W-What is this feeling, why do I feel so hot? And...what the? Why do I feel so...damp? WHAT THE?!"_ Weiss yelled in her mind as she couldn't believe that JAUNE of all things was the cause of her current state.

The Ice Queen had been melted. Quite Literally.

 _"Ha ha...Penis."_ Nora said as she was completely unaffected by it.

 _"Good god, was one of his parents a horse?"_ That surprisingly came from Ren.

 _"Don't jump on him. Don't jump on him. Don't jump on him. Don't jump on him."_ Pyrrha thought as her teenage hormones were telling her to pounce on him like a lion on a gazelle.

 _"Control yourself! He's a student! Although a...Well endowed one...No! Bad Glynda! BAD!"_ Goodwitch said in her mind as she was tempted to smack herself with her riding crop.

And with that thought she only made it worse as she was now picturing being punished for her naughty thoughts. NO! Bad Glynda!

Jaune...just smiled and walked away.

 _"Wow! Rory was right! The kilt really does give you power."_ He said as he walked out of the ring.

"Oh hey, Pyrrha, can you help me train after this? I think I need to make some more improvements." He said as he walked out of the arena and Pyrrha licked her lips.

 _"Oh..we're going to train alright, it will be a training session you'll never forget."_

Meanwhile hiding in the shadows of the arena. Rory smirked as he looked to the camera.

"There's oats, and then there's oats, but there's only One Scott's Porage Oats!"


End file.
